“When you can’t control what is happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening, that is where your power lies!”
Keeping a grip on how I react has been a challenge for me over the years. Being an entrepreneur’s wife, a lot of the things that occurred in our journey was completely out of my control. When a deal would fall through or a launch didn’t go as planned or a new idea that we invested everything including our hope in would fall flat, I had zero control.
It has taken me 15 years to realize that how I respond to life’s curve ball is crucial. I am not a victim of my circumstances.
I sometimes think as a wife of an entrepreneur we want to place blame when things go wrong. Or at least I did. When we were in our darkest moments, the pain would smother all hope. I wanted to point my finger at someone. You know the saying, I need a throat to choke? The problem with living like that is it takes all the responsibility off of us.
I am quick to react with emotion. If I hurt, you will see it. I want you to feel my pain. Obviously, this is not always a healthy way to react. It has taken me so long to stop playing the victim, to take control of my emotions and reactions.
When we were at the emotional peaks of this entrepreneurial journey the last thing my husband needed was another person to prove himself to. I learned that my pain was also his hurt, he felt it.
When you cross the line from believer to skeptic, it is hard to undo that hurt for them. Resentment is like a cavity it rots from the inside out. Eventually, it will bubble to the surface.
Controlling how you react to what is happening is a ninja move. It moves the needle from victim to victor. It doesn’t come without practice, and you must have the proper tools to get you through, but it is a powerful thing that can carry you through life in all circumstances.
The bottom line, I chose this life. I might not have understood every aspect to entrepreneurship and what that would mean for us, but I chose this. If you are thinking, “I didn’t choose this, this is something he did on his own.”
Can I please give you some tough love?
That may be the problem sister. If he is on the entrepreneurial journey alone, meaning you have no interest in “his” business, no desire to climb the difficult mountain with your entrepreneur hubby, you are a prove it to me, show me the money kind of sidekick. The divide can be deep. I know this from experience. Trust me!
There are too many people that the entrepreneur has to prove him/herself to. Please do not make them feel like you are one of those people. You are the entrepreneur’s wife. You are the soother, the cheerleader, the soldier. Suit up girl! Own it! Be the one at the finish line standing beside your man. It is your success, as a couple, one shared vision. I know from experience that when you arrive at whatever success looks like for you the immense amount of pride he will feel from doing it together will bind you for life.
During the walk through entrepreneurship, hell during the walk through marriage there will be some tough times. Remember this; you may not always be in control of what happens, but you are 100% in control of the way you react.
