Have you ever felt like running? Not put your Adidas on and go for a jog, but buy a plane ticket pack a bag kinda of running.
Lately, I’ve felt the pull of being unsettled. This feeling is familiar because I’ve felt this many times before. It’s funny how you can be moving in a direction and feel like you have everything mapped out, and then boom life picks you up, spins you around, then spits you out leaving you feeling lost and somewhat disoriented.
Matt and I have been going through another transition stage in our businesses. Being married to an entrepreneur is never dull there is always change just over the horizon, and sometimes it sneaks up on you if you’re not aware of your surroundings.
Matt is working on a massive project. This project takes his time, focus and financial investment. We know if this goes like it’s supposed to it will change the way our lives look forever. It will give us the ability to conquer our top level goals, our real missions in life. On top of the massive project, we are letting go of some spinning plates to make room for growth. I’m wrapping up the final pieces on some amazing things for The Entrepreneur’s Wife project, my book is finished, and I’m launching a video mentoring course that coincides with the book launch. Let’s not forget to include the daily challenges and demands of running a house and our current businesses plus keeping up with three active kids. One of which is soon to embark on her own journey into college life. To say we are in transition/growth mode is an understatement.
We’ve been here before. Maybe not to the extent of where we are now, but we’ve been here. It was about six years ago, but this feels, and sounds familiar almost like a form of Déjà Vu.
The unsettled feeling is my old patterns of behaviors trying to find their way back to the surface.
In the past when things had got unpredictable, and the forecast was not set in stone I wanted to white knuckle grip the wheel and take over, or I wanted to run, very fast in the opposite direction. It’s that fight or flight instinct we all have. I do not like hypothetical timelines. I want concrete dates and a list of what everyone is going to do to make this work. Unfortunately that way, my way does not work; not for the way, we live our lives.
This journey is not predictable and is ever changing.
Here is where I see God’s humor and wisdom. A dear friend told me that maybe we are being faced with some of these challenges because we haven’t learned our lessons in the past. The unknown future we are being faced with is bringing up emotions that we haven’t adequately dealt with. For a couple of weeks, we were acting like our old selves, we had been at each other’s throats and frankly not showing up in a loving way. Thankfully we’ve grown over the past six years, and know to recognize and stop the cycle of behavior. It’s hard to identify your weaknesses and steer your emotions in another direction. That is where I’m at. I have to live what I teach; believe in the unknown and trust in something I have zero control over; once again.
I recently remembered something I said a few years ago. When speaking with a friend about my past I said that if we could live those rocky times over again, I would do it differently, I would do so much better. Well, sometimes you get just that kind of opportunity. I pray I can be strong; I can be the kind of wife that at the end of this phase of our journey Matt can look at me and say thank you for standing firm in your belief, not only in God’s blessing for our family but your belief in me and my dreams.
Practicing what we teach is sometimes hard to sit with, but that is what I’m doing. I’m listening to the soul whispering guidance, fighting the urge to react and just stand still in the chaos. Growth is never easy, but it’s a necessary part of entrepreneurship.