Matt’s real estate business was doing really well in 2004 we were buying and flipping several houses every month. The true progression for us was the move into buying, holding and rehabbing ourselves. The market was booming, and we were standing in the center of the action.
We had our second child, a baby boy, and bought our first home. Life was delicious. We seemingly had it all to be so young. I was just turning 25 and Matt was 26. I decided that I would maybe venture out and do something on my own. That small entrepreneurial flame was still flickering, and I wanted to see what was out there for me.
Years prior I had dabbled in Mary Kay. I say dabbled, but it was more like I peddled Mary Kay. I used the products and maybe sold a few items to family and friends. I thought maybe I would get some additional information so I searched for a consultant in my area and met with this bubbly sales director. When I got home, I had decided to give it a shot – for real this time.
I’m not sure if it was naive or just the sheer excitement of doing something on my own, but I was all in. I spoke to Matt about the business plan, and we decided to go for it. Like invest in products, have a store in my house all in.
I held my debut and hit the ground running. This really opened me up a little further, and I thought maybe Matt isn’t the only one that could be an entrepreneur. Within five months I was a sales director, and a month later I earned my first free car.
I was so excited and motivated and felt completely on purpose. I was holding weekly meetings, going to seminars, and truly living in my pink bubble. We moved into a bigger house that we loved, and everything was good.
I realized then that I loved helping women. When I sat with them doing seemingly a small thing like playing with skincare products and makeup it would open them up. It gave them a light, and they would tell me what they were struggling with.
I felt like in the short visits with these lovely ladies; I was making a difference. I didn’t realize then that this was only the beginning, this was not my final destination just the starting line on the path to my true calling.
Soon the real estate market started to crumble, one by one we lost all three of our houses, and we were seriously sinking into a deep dark hole of debt. My bright light was starting to dim, and I could feel myself doubting everything that I had believed and lived.
I started to get angry, and I wanted Matt to fix it.
This emotion came and went, but it was strong. I couldn’t believe this was happening. My hopelessness grew with every item we had to sell. There came a time that I knew I had to give up my business. How could I motivate and move women when I was falling apart? I was so hurt, broken, and ashamed.
It was a pivotal moment for me, one that changed me for a long time. I sold all of my products, gave back my car and stepped down as a sales director. I think in some way I blamed Matt. I felt like if he had fixed this, we would not have lost everything, I’d still be doing Mary Kay. Looking back I see there was a bigger plan for us. I was too blinded by the pain to have clarity.
My stress level was through the roof.
It was hard for me not to voice these things. I wanted Matt to make me feel better. What I failed to realize is that he was feeling broken too. When I would voice my fears and anxiety, it would make him face his own. This was not very productive and certainty, not a positive environment. I’m sure in a way he had started building his own resentment.
Sometimes you have to be completely broken and humbled to the point of falling on your knees before God can build you back up and set you on path again with a new perspective, respect, and outlook on life.
We slowly started our climb out of the hole of not only debt but self-doubt and self-pity. An entrepreneur’s journey is not a straight, smooth road. You get knocked around, pushed and pulled in different directions. Sometimes you will hear a cosmic “no, ” and if you do not listen, you might get knocked down, really freaking hard.
Maybe we were given subtle cues to stop and do something different or go a different direction but didn’t listen, so we got our cosmic NO!
This would not be the first time in our journey that we would hear that stern voice and feel the swift direction altering push. We all have free will and can do what we want. Sometimes God grabs the wheel and starts directing our path because, like a parent, He sees the danger that lies ahead and wants to protect and guide us.
