What do you do when you feel like the business is taking precious time away from you and your spouse?
I know from experience the long hours and time away it takes when your entrepreneur hubby is trying to build something. The loneliness that can creep in is smothering. The business can become your enemy. It’s a love-hate thing, right? You know it’s necessary to invest time and energy but sometimes time becomes the only thing you crave.
Here are some of the most popular pain points that I’ve heard from other entrepreneur’s wives:
“I feel like a single Mom.”
“Even when we do decide to have quality time his phone will ring and he spends most of the time outside talking business.”
“He is constantly checking his phone and I feel like he isn’t being present.”
“He works 20 hours a day.”
I’ve lived the Trep Wife Life for 14 years. I know all the frustrations. I also know how extraordinary it can be.
What can you do to shake this gremlin? You know the one, it’s in your ear saying, “what about me?” When is it my turn? Aren’t I important?”
Or your, “He-Should” Crew. You know them, the ones that love to tell you what he “should” be doing.
Sound familiar?
So what do you do? How do you find balance and security?
Now to the positive… and a little tough love.
You married an entrepreneur. Maybe you didn’t realize what it was going to look like, or feel like or, hell, how much it was going to take. But you’re in it. You’re knee-deep in this thing and it is your life sister.
My advice?..
- Stop comparing your normal to everyone else’s normal. You’re different, you must find a new normal. Your normal.
- As hard as it is, take the “me” out of the equation. Look at what he is trying to do. Find compassion for what he might be going through. He feels your frustration, trust me. That in itself can be scary for him. It can also cause unnecessary stress and resentment. The last thing you want is for him to feel like you’re against him.
- Talk to him without raw emotion. Go into it not with a list of points to make of how he is failing you. He knows he needs to be more present and he knows that he spends a lot of time on the business. Find out what he needs from you. Hear him.
- Ask how you can help. Get in where you fit in. Maybe getting involved in some way will allow for more quality time. Who knows maybe you’ll decide that “His Thing” has now become “Our Thing.”
- Remember your dreams. Spend some time reminiscing on why you guys started this. The end game, what does it look like? One shared vision is big. Dreaming together is HUGE!
- Compromise. Find a win-win. Once you’ve both expressed your needs create a plan of action. Set your intentions.
- Lastly – Connect with other entrepreneur spouses. Not to complain and talk about how hard you have it, but to get support and lend support. You have something to give, let your light shine. Being around the right people is crucial in this journey. Make sure your peeps are giving you positive vibes.
Sometimes a small change on your part can create huge changes in the overall bigger picture. Be the change.
You are the backbone, the support system, you’re very important and needed. You’re amazing! You are the entrepreneur’s wife.
Remember, I’m here if you need me.
