Let’s be real!  All married couples argue.  You are two different people with your own thoughts, feelings, and expectations.  Matt and I can have pretty heated conversations sometimes.  Usually it’s over the most ridiculous things, but it happens.  There is a right and wrong way to argue though.  It’s really easy to say and do something in the heat of the moment that can cause a lot of hurt. If there is any other stress factors that are involved  (e.g. money, business, family),  a simple miscommunication can turn into a full-on war.  Once feelings are hurt that is usually when the gloves come off.  At least that is the case for me.  Something happens inside of me when I get hurt and I really have to work on my inner self to not go for the jugular.  That is where the danger zone lies – between misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

Below are a few tips that I try to remember – the key word is “try.” I’m nowhere near perfect with this.

No Name Calling – Super easy to let this one slip. Even a “you’re crazy or you’re a jerk” can mean bad news.

No interrupting – SO HARD TO DO!  I mean, stop it with the BS and I wouldn’t need to interrupt LOL.   You want to get your point across, right?  Patience, love…be patient.

No Cussing – I think this one is big.  You can make your point without using your favorite four letter words.  Honestly, it just makes you look ugly.

No sarcasm – Ha!  This one is tough for Matt and I because we are both super sarcastic.  A simple “Okay” in the right tone can blow it up!

No yelling – Raising your voice is a sign that you’re loosing control.  Keep it cool buddy.

No defensiveness – It is really easy to get defensive when someone is pointing out your negative parts.  In my experience getting defensive just escalates the already heated discussion.

No Generalization – My favorite… “you always…” and “…all the time.”  It’s a way to box someone in… Don’t do it.

No Social Media – HUGE!! Do not take it to the interwebs!  No passive aggressive quotes or sly posts to infer there is a storm brewing in paradise.  Keep it classy.

I hear people often say, “never go to bed angry.” I disagree.  Sometimes it’s too hot and heated (not in a good way) to get resolution.  Sleep on it.  Morning brings clarity and a calm spirit.

“Love isn’t when there is no fights in the realationship. Love is when once the fight ends, love is still there.” – Unknown

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