I feel like it has become socially okay to jump on the bandwagon of, “my spouse drives me crazy…, they are stupid and lazy and can’t do anything to please me…, we need to make fun of them…, laugh at them to be socially cool or accepted…” I think media portrays marriage as a joke, that it is pathetic and perishable. I have been on both sides here, from one extreme to another. From “I love and adore my sweet husband” to “what in the heck is wrong with him?”

Marriage is an amazing thing, it has it’s high, and it’s lows; it is blissful and miserable. You are sharing everything with another human being, someone that has their own feelings and thoughts. It can get hairy at times. We all mess up, we all can be selfish and insensitive.

We as women are conditioned these days to be strong, that we can do everything on our own, that we are independent warriors, and we do not need men. I have felt these feelings of empowerment and discovered something about myself. I have a powerful ability to turn off my emotions. Is that fair? Is that crossing the boundaries?

Throughout the years my marriage has been overflowing with love and at times dry as a desert. But love doesn’t mean the sacrifice of boundaries; it’s simply doing my part to extend forgiveness and understanding through love. Love doesn’t come from a cold and hardened heart. I’ve had to realize this, and it has been a valuable lesson for me to learn.

When you are coming from a heart of forgiveness and warmth, you can stand against the social norm of being a negative spouse talker. We should publicly build our spouses up and look for opportunities to do so. Will people roll their eyes at you for saying how great your spouse is? Maybe, but who cares. What if it helps them be okay with speaking positivity about their own spouse?

We must be the change that we want to see.

    2 replies to "The Words You Speak"

    • Jan Doyle

      So true I often speak ill of my husband when I have anger in my heart.Coming from a family of girls we all get together and vent about our spouses but I have learn through the years that family’s can resent your spouse so being married 35 years now I simply don’t use my sisters as a sounding board for my anger it always made me feel better but left everyone else feeling conflicted.

      • Amy Stefanik


        Yes, I completely agree. It’s hard to have a sounding board and not have them create opinions of their own regarding your spouse. Thank you for your support, and your comment!

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