Do you ever wonder why so many couples talk so horribly about each other? It is at times in a joking manner, but still, the seeds of your heart are watered by your words so be careful what is planted.
I hear it all the time, women saying how their husbands are idiots and men talking about how unbearable it is to be around their wives. You see it on TV, the wife is always an overbearing, loud mouth and the husband can barely tie his shoes without assistance. I’m of course being dramatic, but it is the truth.
Social norms that are accepted and repeated for acceptance.
Here is the problem. Our minds are a powerful thing. You have heard me say this over and over again. We create our reality.
I’m currently going through, A Course In Miracles. (life changing)
It says we assign scripts to people. We basically write a story about someone, and that is then who they are to us. We box them into the pages we write. By doing this, we don’t allow them to evolve, to grow, to change their minds or to correct their mistakes. How limiting, right?
By speaking the negative energy over your marriage and your partner, you are writing a horror story instead of a love story. Let that sink in. You are creating the life that you want to get away from so badly. Ouch!
I say, give your partner a clean book with blank pages. Stop holding him accountable to his past mistakes, let it go. He may have hurt you or disappointed you once, but you continue to hurt or disappoint yourself over and over again by reliving it in your mind.
Speak words of gratitude, focus on being the best you, your spouse can not make you happy, nor can he bring you peace. Find love within yourself, find peace within yourself, find joy within yourself. Plant the seeds of gratitude in your heart and water them with words of affection and appreciation.
I’m not saying you should never feel annoyed or frustrated or hurt. It is up to you though, is that experience is going to be a one-time thing where you feel it, heal it and forgive or are you going to carry it around with you? The choice is yours. Also please forgive yourself of your past mistakes. Once you fully do this, you can give forgiveness so much more freely.
There, of course, is boundaries no one should have free range to hurt you over and over again. But again the boundaries are set by you.
The elementary school saying holds true here as well. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. You may be thinking, so I’m not allowed to confide in someone about what I’m going through for fear I may be writing his story and speaking negatively? That is not what I’m saying. Having a true confidant is someone who will listen without judgment but will also hold you accountable to the truth. Anyone else is just there for the free gossip.