I believe when you become a mom you are fitted with a guilt crown that will be with you for what seems like forever. I wear mine every day and it fits me snugly. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be able to take this thing off.
My husband and I both work from home and it’s wonderful. We get to give our children the gift of our time – time at their school, time at sports functions, time when they’re sick, and time when the school anounces a half day, mid week, for no good reason. This is why most people want to work for themselves, right? The grand illusion of being an entrepreneur is to have freedom, to have more time. Is this a myth though? Where is all this time “they” speak of?
My husband has worked hard building a legacy for our family, we get to enjoy a lifestyle that gives us freedom to travel and experience things with our kids that hopefully will help mold them into well rounded adults. I’m thankful for this, truly.
Okay, now that I’ve gotten those niceties out of the way let’s get to the guilt part.
Although we work from home and it’s great, it doesn’t allow for the work boundaries needed. The kids do not understand that our jobs are important and we MUST work to provide them with the things they need. They feel like if mom and dad are right there in their office why can’t we go talk to them about the huge super cool snot rocket they just pulled out of my nose? Little boys…gross. I swear I feel like they’re like, “What’s that dad you’re doing a webinar? Even better..perfect timing.” I’m constantly saying, “in a minute” or “go play.” Daily we preach, let mom and dad get our work finished PLEASE.
Sometimes when I’m sitting with my mom guilt scrolling through all the amazing loving mom posts, I think will I scar my children? Do they know they’re important? Am I doing this parent thing right?
Even though my kids have a blessed life they are sometimes so ungrateful. I wonder do we give them too much? At this very moment I have taken almost all of my children’s toys and electronics away because they do not appreciate what they have. They are on the dreadful big P word… Punishment! I mean how many times can you tell them the, “when I was your age” story? But I wonder is their lack of gratefulness my fault?
Can I stop and say something here? Usually this is the part of the story where someone steps in and says, “cherish every moment” or “appreciate this time in your life.” I understand this and please know I am saying this with absolute love and respect. That doesn’t help. When I’m having a mom moment and feeling like my kiddos are running me over it is hard to cherish the moment. I get it, they grow up fast and one day I will turn around and they will be grown. But has anyone ever cherished and appreciated every single moment of raising their kids? Seriously, I need to know.
I say all of this because I realized this morning after I adjusted my guilt crown in the mirror that I know there are a lot of us that feel the guilt and anxiety regarding the responsibilities of raising our children. I’m not alone.
I have a fire inside me for my babies that was lit the day that they were born. I love them until it’s painful. I treasure and protect them with every ounce of myself. I want to give them the best of everything, the best of me.
If you feel this mom guilt like I do then know this:
We are normal, this is normal, and we are doing a great job. Do me a favor, the next time you’re in Target and you see a sweaty anxious mom trying frantically to quiet her screaming toddler with skittles give her a kind smile and a wink. We are all in this together. Happy parenting friends!