I’m in love with the book I just finished called Expectation Hangover. I met Christine Hassler in Estonia and picked her book up as soon as I heard her message. In one chapter she speaks about wanting nachos but trying to get them from a Chinese restaurant. It doesn’t work. It will definitely give you an expectation hangover.
I had a thought while listening. We talk a lot about all the attention our entrepreneur husbands devote to the business. We talk about how they are always on their phone, in their office, talking about the business. I believe as an entrepreneur there is something so different and unique about the makeup of which they run on day to day. There is a certain amount of insanity it takes to run a successful business.
What if, now stick with me as I write this… What if we are craving nachos but are trying to get what we are craving in a Chinese restaurant? What if our entrepreneur doesn’t have the ingredients for the nachos that we’re so severely craving? Make sense? I’m not saying he will never accumulate those ingredients, but maybe in certain seasons of his life on this journey, he only has rice and veggies.
For me, I know Matt cannot give me everything I need every time I need it. His personality is a hardcore rebel entrepreneur. He loves all things business. I know when I am feeling insecure and needy at times he is not the one to pour into me. I say this because the self-doubt and weight of building a business can deplete your cup and it’s easy at times to run on empty. You can not pour what you do not have. Knowing this allows me to give grace during the rough marital times.
I have known from day one he will always be either going into a business venture, knee deep in a business venture or coming out of and planning the next business venture. This takes a ton of his time and energy. For MANY years I would put so much of my thoughts and emotions into feeling what he wasn’t giving me. One day I stopped feeling like I was being deprived and started pouring into myself, loving myself, honoring what I wanted and this thought pattern pulled me away from, why am I not getting what I feel I deserve to allowing myself to fill my cup from other sources. Like, good friends, fabulous books, extraordinary events, and alone time. So, I enjoy the Chinese food and make my own nachos. LOL.
I am in no way saying that our entrepreneurs shouldn’t try to create life balance. I am not validating their times of neglecting to be present. What I’m saying is, maybe if we start focusing on what they do give us and cherish those things we will stop putting all the attention on what they aren’t giving us. Maybe we can stop subconsciously trying to change who they are and consciously love them for where they’re at in this season of their lives. If I’ve learned anything, it is everything changes. Where you’re at today is not where you’ll be a year from now. This season in your life will change, I promise!
I encourage you to stop living in the “if when” and start living in today. Love today, be happy in the now because it will look and feel different soon.
I say all of this with love. I want to challenge your beliefs so you can shed what doesn’t serve you. I want to stretch you so you can grow and create momentum in your life. I’m not here to say all the soft kind things I’m here to love you through the raw truth. <3 There is no statute of limitations on starting over. Re-invent yourself every day. Be the girl who walks barefoot and listens to blues. Tomorrow, wear a trench coat and speak fierce truths. Be a Phoenix. Be ashes. Burn down. Resurrect. Let go of the idea you must always be who you have always been. ~Unknown